Peacemakers: People who make peace

Author: Marjorie Smith (original website: http://www.people-for-peace.com/)

Every human being is, or can be, a peacemaker. I want to bring this to our attention. I want us to recognize that (among other things) this is who and what we are. I want us to get more competent as peacemakers -- we need lots of us!

For many years I've had a dream, a goal: that Peace on Earth shall come about within my lifetime. Now (2006) I'm 60 years old and it's time to do something about it!

Peacemaking is something you and I can practice and get better at. It would be OK to take many years to grow oneself as a peacemaker -- a fine project for the rest of one's life, something like growing one's horsemanship. (My other website is about horses, www.barefoothorse.com)

Two Basic Tools for Peace

Here I want to offer two simple ideas or practices that I find most promising, chosen from many possibilities after a wide search over the years. I see them as an effective way to build the foundation for peace.

1) Peace can be approached through widespread healing -- in particular, the healing of fear.
Some of my friends and I have listened to each other's life story for many years. We've noticed that a person who recovers from the scary things that have happened to her, becomes more effective in standing up: for herself, and for those she cares about, and for what is important to her.

She can stand up, cheerfully and confidently, and say, "There's a better way and we are going to use it!"

Fear has kept us silent. And. . . fear can be healed.

2) Peace can be approached through making ordinary friendships -- in particular, friendships that reach across the barriers of prejudice and other social divisions (age, gender, "race," ethnic background, class, religion, nationality, etc.).

Becoming Unafraid

At bottom, the way a scared human being becomes unafraid is by 1) laughing, and 2) shaking or shivering -- that fine trembling of excitement that yoou get sometimes when you do something courageous.

Laughing and shivering are two ways that humans can dependably heal fear. We can laugh and shiver after a big scare to get our courage back. Next time you find yourself shivering after a scare, don't squelch it with a stiff drink, a cigarette, or a tranquilizer. Be delighted, let the shivering run its course, and then notice how you are different in the next few days.

The experience of my listening-friends shows that an unafraid, confident human being can handle scary situations well -- including standing up to the threats used by the "big guys" to keep us from upsetting their power.

An unafraid human being cannot be pushed around with fear. An unafraid human being is able invent a good solution to handle the situation.

How do you use laughter and shivering, deliberately, to get rid of fear?

Arrange some time with someone who likes and cares about you, who will agree not to "put you down" for being scared, and who agrees to listen while you do some healing. (Your friend will be a better listener for you if you also listen to her or him, for about an equal amount of time.)

You want to be in a situation that is different enough from whatever scared you, so that you can notice you are safe right now. (For example, right now you are not in that canoe, about to plunge over the waterfall -- you're on solid ground in your house. Brrr!) Then you just tell the scary story while you notice your present safety.

Laughter or shivering will happen automatically, each time you notice you are safe -- it's not something you have to force. The longer you can keep laughter or shivering going (by telling the story many times while noticing your present safety) the more you will become unafraid. If you get "lost" in the fear, so that your laughter or shivering stops, it's OK for your listening friend to gently and good-humoredly bring your attention back to the fact you are SAFE NOW.

Making peace through friendship

Any large group of people -- the citizens of a city, a country, the citizens of the world -- could easily get together to stop war and do things differently. So the "big guys" -- and the societies that we live in and the "big guys" profit from -- do everything they can to divide us from one another. ("Divide and conquer...") There are so many people we're not "supposed to" get to know!

-- What is sexism but an ingenious way to divide every household from within -- the womenfolks and the menfolks believing, much of the time, that we can never really understand and trust each other?

-- What is classism but a way to make sure people in "better" classes don't get to hear, respect, and use the sensible ideas of people "below" them -- and to make sure the "lower" people believe they have no useful ideas?

The divisive society cannot afford for you and me to compare notes on what it does to our lives. So, a basic, effective way to move toward peace is

-- to make friends with people who are different from us, and
-- to deepen our connection and trust with the people we already know.

A person who knows she is deeply cared about and supported by a "family" of friends and allies of many varieties, cannot be intimidated.

What does "Peace on Earth" mean to me?

"People love people because, though the whole Universe is all delightful and appreciable and beautiful, there is probably nothing else sufficiently complex to really interest a human mind except another human mind." -- Harvey Jackins

No more humans harming humans (especially not for profit.) That humans will never again feel that the only way to get what they need is to harm somebody else.

No more wrecking the Earth (especially not for profit). That humanity can and will find marvelously respectful ways to live as an equal partner among all the other creatures, the plant world, the interlocking life systems, and the air we breathe.

No more wasting of human gifts and genius. Each day, after being able to earn at least basic sustenance, everyone on Earth will have time and energy left over to think about, contribute to, and celebrate the wonderfulness of life.

Peace is us getting to work together to have things be the way we want them. Peace is all of us getting to enjoy our own and each other's unique genius and gifts.

The Beercan Principle

I ran across the Beercan Principle when I used to go hiking in the majestic Cascade Range near Seattle. Nowadays we might call it the Springwater Bottle Principle but in those days it was about beercans. It went like this:

"There are two possibilities along life's trail. You can drop one beercan somewhere every day. Or you can pick up one beercan every day and take it home to the recycle bin".

Each beercan, by itself, is a tiny event. But over, say, 50 years, you could in this small way add 18,000 beercans to the general litter around us, or you could pick up 18,000 beercans, making 18,000 spots a little more beautiful to be in.

That's a lot of beercans, one way or the other.

With a little ingenuity we can extend the Beercan Principle to other interesting activities. There would be the possibility of frowning at someone every day, or twinkling your eyes at someone, whether they "deserved" it or not.

There would be putting someone down, or treating someone as an honored and equal fellow being.

You can see, when small actions are taken consistently over many years, the possibilities become quite marvelous. I hope you are getting the notion there is probably some part of your life where you are already "picking up beercans." (wink)

In our tiniest decisions, we can go along with the program of the "divisive society." We can do gazillions of tiny actions within the mindset of the divisive, competitive, war system we live in. Or -- one "beercan" at a time -- we can put together a society that's about thinking and working together, and respect for all beings, including the human ones.

You might spend a few minutes, sometimes, listening to someone so they could heal an old fear. Across 50 years, you would end up with quite a collection of not-so-scared people around you -- and what might a bunch of confident folks be able to do together?

Likewise, suppose once a year you met somebody who was different from you, and you liked them, and said so. (Ohmygosh, tell somebody I like them??) Over 50 years you'd end up with friends of many sorts, and there's a chance you would get some of them liking each other, too, along the way -- and what might you be able to do together?

I would appreciate hearing what you like about what I'm saying.

marjorie@barefoothorse.com

Pacifisti; ljudje, ki delajo mir

Vsak človek je oz. lahko postane pacifist. To hočem posebej poudariti.Hočem, da se kot taki prepoznamo in da se v tem izurimo -- potrebujemo vas!

Veliko let sem sanjala, imela cilj: da bi bil za časa mojega življenja na svetu vzpostavljen mir! Zdaj (leta 2006) sem stara 60 let in čas je, da nekaj ukrenem.

Vzpostavljanje miru je nekaj kar lahko jaz in ti počneva skupaj in pri tem postajava vedno boljša. Prav bi bilo, če bi oseba, ki se zavzema za mir izoblikovala in intelektualo rasla skozi mnogo let- kot življenjski cilj, nekaj podobnega kot življenje, ki ga predamo konjem. (Moja druga spletna stran je o konjih, www.barefoothorse.com)

Dva osnovna pripomočka za mir

Tukaj želim predstaviti dve preprosti misli oz. načina, ki se mi zdita, po večletnem iskanju izmed množice načinov, najprimernejša. Vidim ju kot najprimernejša temelja za gradnjo miru.

1) Miru se lahko približamo preko obsežnega zdravljenja -- posebno z zdravljenjem strahu.

Nekateri izmed mojih prijateljev in jaz smo mongo let poslušali življenjske zgodbe drug drugega. Opazili smo, da postane oseba, ki si je opomogla od stašljivih stvari, ki so se ji pripetile, učinkovitejša pri okrevanju; zase, za tiste, ki jih ima rada in za tisto kar ji nekaj pomeni.

Veselo in samozavestno lahko vstane in reče: »Obstaja boljši način, in uporabili ga bomo!«

Zaradi strahu smo molčali. In...strah je ozdravljiv.

2)Miru se lahko približamo s sklepanjem prijateljstva -- posebno prijateljstva, ki je močnejši od predsodkov in drugih socialnih delitev (starost, spol, »rasa«, etnično ozzadje, razred, vera, narodnost, itd.) .

Postati neustrašen

Človek postane resnično neustrašen 1) s smehom in 2) s tresenjem in drhtenjem -- tisto rahlo drhtenje ob vznemirjenju, ki ga občutimo ko naredimo nekaj pogumnega.

Smejanje in drhtenje sta dve stvari s katerimi lahko ljudje zanesljivo ozdravimo strah. Lahko se smejemo in tresemo po velikem strahu, da bi pridobili nazaj pogum. Ko boste naslednjič občutili tresenje po strahu, ga ne utišajte z močno pijačo, s cigareto ali s pomirjevalom. Bodite navdušeni, pustite, da tresenje traja in nato opazujte, kako drugačni ste v naslednjih dneh.

Izkušnja s prijateljicami kaže, da se neustrašen in samozavesten človek dobro sooča z strašljivimi situacijami-kar pomeni tudi upor proti grožnjam velikanov, s katerimi želijo preprečiti motenje njihovih načrtov.

Človeka, ki je neustrašen, se s strahom ne da izsiljevati. Nustrašen človek je sposoben z dobrimi rešitvami obvladovati situacijo.

Kako namerno uporabljamo tresenje in drhtenje, da se znebimo strahu?

Zmenite se z nekom, ki vas ima rad, ki vas zaradi vašega strahu ne bo poniževal in kateri vam bo prisluhnil med tem, ko se vi zdravite. (Vaš prijatelj postane boljši poslušalec, če tudi vi njega ali njo poslušate približno isto časa).

Želite biti v situaciji, ki se dovolj razlikuje od tistega, kar vas je prestrašilo, da lahko opazite, da ste sedaj varni. (Na primer, v tem trenutku niste v kanuju, ki bo vsak čas zgrmel čez slap -- ste na trdnih tleh, doma. Brrr!) Nato preprosto povejte vašo strašno zgodbo in ne pozabite, da ste na varnem.

Smeh ali drhtenje se bo pojavilo samo od sebe vsakokrat, ko boste opazili, da ste varni -- tega ni potrebno siliti. čim dalj trajata vaš smeh in drhtenje (z večkratnim pripovedovanjem zgodbe in opažanjem vaše trenutne varnosti) bolj boste postali neustrašni. če se v strahu »izgubite«, tako da se vaš smeh in drhtenje vstavita, je dobro, če vaš prijatelj, ki vas posluša, nežno in dobrovoljno znova usmeri pozornost na dejstvo, da ste ZDAJ na VARNEM.

Mir preko sklepanja prijateljstev

Vsaka velika skupina ljudi -- prebivalci mesta, države, sveta – bi se lahko zlahka združili z namenom da preprečijo vojno in naredijo stvari na drugačen način. Velikani -- in družba v kateri živimo in iz katere ustvarjajo dobiček -- delajo vse kar je v njihovi moči, da nas ločijo med sabo. (»Loči in osvoji...«). Veliko je ljudi, »ki naj jih ne bi« spoznali!

-- Kaj je lahko racizem drugega, kot odlično sredstvo za preprečevanje spoznavanja in ljubezni med ljudmi različnih polti, da bi se skupaj združili v družbi, kjer je medsebojno spoštovanje najvišja vrednota?

-- Kaj je seksizem drugega kot bistroumna notranja ločitev vsakega gospodinjstva -- ženske in moški večino časa verjamejo, da se ne bomo mogli nikoli popolnoma razumeti in si zaupati?

-- Kaj so socialni razredi drugega, kot prepreka »boljšim« razredom, da bi slišali, spoštovali in uporabljali bistre ideje ljudi, ki so »pod« njimi -- in da bi »nižje« prepričali o ničvrednosti njihovih zamisli?

Razdeljena družba, si ne mora privoščiti, da bi različni ljudje primerjali posledice, ki jih taka družba v našem življenju pušča. Zanesljivo in učinkovito lahko gradimo pot k miru

-- s sklepanjem prijateljstev z ljudmi, ki so različni od nas in

-- s poglabljanjem zvez in zaupanja, ki jih že imamo z našimi prijatelji.

Oseba, ki se zaveda, da je ljubljena in, da jo »družina prijateljev« ali različnih zaveznikov podpira, ne more biti zastrahovana.

Kaj mi »mir na Zemlji« pomeni?

»Ljudje se medsebojno ljubijo, ker verjetno, ne obstaja nič zadostno kompleksnega, kar bi človeka zanimalo, kot kompleksnost človeškega razuma, pa čeprav je ves univerzum krasen in upoštevanja vreden.«
Harvey Jackins

Nič več medsebojnega oškodovanja (še posebno ne, za dobiček). Da ljudje ne bi nikoli več čutili, da morajo oškodovati druge, da bi sami dobili, kar želijo.

Nič več uničevanja planeta (še posebno ne, za dobiček). Da bi človeštvu uspelo najti, in našlo bo, prečudovite in spoštljive načine, da bo skupaj z drugimi bitji, z rastlinami in z tesno povezanimi sistemi ter z zrakom, ki ga dihamo, zaživelo kot njim enakovredno.

Nič več zapravljanja človeškega razuma in nadarjenosti. Vsak dan, ko si bomo pridobili sposobnost, da zaslužimo vsaj za osnovno preživljanje, bo vsak človek imel energijo in čas, da premisli, sodeluje in uživa v čudovitosti življenja.

Mir je sodelovanje pri ustvarjanju stvari, da bi postale takšne, kot si jih želimo. Mir pomeni uživati v razumu in nadarjenosti, drugih ljudi in tudi v svojem lastnem.

Vodilo pločevink piva

K temu vodilu se se zatekala, ko sem se odpravljala na sprehode v veličasten Cascade Range blizu Seattla. Danes bi ga lahko preimenovali v vodilo plastenk izvirske vode, ampak v tistih dneh se je šlo za pločevinke piva. In šlo je:

»V življenju imamo 2 možnosti. Vsak dan lahko kjerkoli odvržemo poločevinko piva. Lahko pa pločevinko piva poberemo in jo odnesemo v zabojnik za ločene odpadke.«

Vsaka pločevinka zase je majhen dogodek. Toda, morda čez 50 let, lahko na gozdnih tleh pustimo 18.000 pločevink, ali pa poberemo 18.000 pločevink in s tem naredimo 18.000 krajev malce lepših in prijetnejših za prebivanje.

Na kakršen koli način, to je veliko pločevink.

Z malo iznajdljivosti lahko uporabimo princip pivskih pločevink na drugih zanimivih področjih. Imamo možnost, da ljudi mrko pogledamo ali pa jim pomežiknemo, pa naj si to »zalsužijo« ali ne.

To pomeni nekoga užaliti ali se do njega vesti spoštljivo in ga jemati kot enakovredno bitje.

Kadar več let vztrajno počnemo majhne stvari, vidimo, koliko možnosti se nam odpira. Upam, da vam je prišlo na misel, da obstaja del vašega življenja, kjer že »pobirate pločevinke«. (mežik)

V najmanjših odločitvah lahko podpiramo sistem družbe, ki nas želi »ločiti«. V okviru miselnega vzorca ločujočega, tekmovalnega in vojaškega sistema v katerem živimo, lahko naredimo neskončno majhnih dejanj. Ali -- po eno »pločevinko« na enkrat -- lahko sestavimo družbo, kjer sta glavni skupno delo in mišljenje, in spoštovanje do vseh živih bitij, tudi do človeka.

Včasih lahko žrtvujemo par minut, da poslušamo nekoga, z namenom, da bi si pozdravil staro rano. čez 50 let se boste znašli s pravo zbirko samozavestnih ljudi okrog sebe -- in kaj vse je v moči skupine samozavestnih ljudi?

Prav tako lahko, recimo, enkrat na leto, spoznate nekoga, ki je različen od vas in ki vam je všeč in ste mu to povedali. (Presneto, reči nekomu, da mi je všeč??) Tako se boste čez 50 let znašli obkroženi s različnimi prijatelji in obstaja možnost, da si bodo tudi oni med sabo všeč -- in kaj vse boste skupaj sposobni narediti?

Z veseljem pričakujem vaše mnenje o tistem, kar vam je o povedanem všeč.

marjorie@barefoothorse.com